Parenting: Sharing Black History

"I'm so glad they (my kids) realize we are living 

what generations before have dreamed of 

and to not take it for granted." 

– Sharon Brewster

Today, my daughter briefed me that she needed Jackie Robinson pictures and card board for a school project (like now). My son chimed in on something totally different – he was looking for a track jacket he likes to wear, his favorite I believe. Despite being tired and arriving two hours late from work, as a family we sprung into action googling Jackie Robinson photos and picked the ones she found most interesting that told about highs and lows of being the first Black the first African American to play Major League Baseball (MLB) in the modern era. 

My son was an eager participant in her assignment. He sat criss crossed apple sauce on the floor and asked me, "Mommy can you tell me ALL of the black people in black history? I really want to know." And he waited too! My daughter told him all about people she learned in school, and then I told him about some the Black inventors, doctors and scientists I'd learned about in school (Garrett Morgan, Benjamin Banneker, Charles Drew, George Washington Carver, etc). He was amazed at their innovations and how they're still in use today, even saving lives. He was puzzled by injustice and glad to know there were people who sympathized with the plight of Black people and fought hard for Civil Rights in this country in addition to all of the Black activists and citizens who fought in their own ways during their time. We talked of love, not hate and rising above the most difficult situations. The concept of not being able to fight back was unknown to him (hmmmm). I told him loosely about Emmitt Till. Initially, I hadn't planned to share that story with him but my age-appropriate explanation of what happened during that time gave him some context as to: why many people were unable to fight back successfully and the importance of people getting together to help each other reach the same goal.

At the end of this discussion and image searching I discovered just how in-tune my children are to injustice both past and present. It hurts and bewilders them to hear of such brutal treatment. I'm so glad they realize we are living what generations before have dreamed of and to not take it for granted. Our family salutes those on the forefront of fighting injustice, breaking color and social/professional barriers by being the first in their field or industry.

As we said our good nights and sang our lullabies, I asked my son if he wanted to make a presentation too since his sister was doing one. He was excited to do so and insisted, "I want to make a presentation on Rosa Parks." So between today and Friday, we will learn more about the accomplishments of Jackie Robinson and Rosa Parks. These are two presentations I can't wait to see!



About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

Freeing Our Minds

Depression, anxiety, phobias, trauma, suicide and eating disorders are among the top mental health concerns women are facing. Like physical illnesses, mental health symptoms are often different in women than men. This makes it even more important to pay attention to our natural range of emotions so we are able to identify irregularities in our mood and get help. If we're fortunate, our friends, family and even colleagues may share their concerns if they notice an unusual or ongoing change in our disposition or behavior. Awareness is key to remaining healthy physically and mentally. Here are tips on being prepared for mental health emergencies and facts about women and common mental health conditions. 

Be prepared for a mental health emergency: 

1. Ask your local doctor or mental health provider for an emergency phone number for the mental health crisis team in your area. If you or your loved one is ever in a mental health crisis this is an option in addition to calling emergency services. 

2. Always call 9-1-1 for help if you or your loved one is ever in a physical and mental health crisis and specify if it is a mental health emergency in addition to a physical emergency.

3. Ask the 9-1-1 operator if a crisis team specialist can be sent in addition to the emergency responders.

4. Have the names and dosage of any medication available that the person in crisis has been prescribed and/or taken prior to the emergency.
5. Notify the emergency responders of any allergies to medications and food.

How serious is mental health for women? Women are:

• twice as likely as men to get depressed (12% of women tend to become depressed)

• attempting suicide two or three times more often than men

• twice as likely to have panic disorder, generalized anxiety, and specific phobias
• 85% of all anorexia and bulimia cases and 65% of binge-eating disorder cases

• twice as likely to develop PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome) after a traumatic event

Mental Health Moment: What is Agoraphobia? 

MayoClinic.com explains, "Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder in which you avoid situations that you're afraid might cause you to panic. You might avoid being alone, leaving your home or any situation where you could feel trapped, embarrassed or helpless if you do panic. People with agoraphobia often have a hard time feeling safe in any public place, especially where crowds gather. The fears can be so overwhelming that you may be essentially trapped in your own home." Agoraphobia can be brought on by a traumatic or severely stressful situation and is often accompanied by panic attacks. Individuals living with agoraphobia may find it difficult to drive, socialize, travel or be outside of their home for any length of time to avoid 'phobic moments' and 'panic.' (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/agoraphobia/DS00894)

Agoraphobia arises from an internal anxiety condition that has become so intense that the suffering individual fears going anywhere or doing anything where these feelings of panic have repeatedly occurred before. Once the panic attacks have started, these episodes become the ongoing stress, even when other more obvious pressures have diminished. This sets up a "feedback condition" which generally leads to increased numbers of panic attacks and, for some people, an increase in the situations or events which can produce panicky feelings. Others experience fearful feelings continuously, more a feeling of overall. discomfort, rather than panic. A person may fear having anxiety attacks, "losing control", or embarrassing him/herself in such situations. Many people remain in a painful state of anxious anticipation because of these fears. Some become restricted or "housebound" while others function "normally" but with great difficulty, often attempting to hide their discomfort." (http://pages.infinit.net/drnayman/agorapho.htm)

This week pay attention to the voice on the inside. How are you feeling emotionally? Are you avoiding people or situations out of fear or not wanting to confront ongoing issues? Most of us are not agoraphobic but we have tendencies and behaviors that many who suffer from agoraphobia have. When we're upset or mildly traumatized we often put up walls in affected areas of our lives. We may not be house bound, but many of us are yet bound by the opinions of others, embarrassment, failure and we're also feeling trapped by decisions and situations we may not be able to change. Today, there's freedom in awareness. If you're feeling that you've gone beyond your normal range of emotions, please reach out to those close to you and ask for help and/or visit a mental health provider in your area.

Prayer: Dear Lord, we ask you to free our minds from things we can't control. Help us to cast our cares on you. Please bring balance, freedom and emotional wholeness to our lives and the wisdom to walk in it continuously. Allow us to not be bound by fear from past hurts and to operate in mental and emotional freedom in Jesus' name we pray. We give you glory and honor this day, Amen.

For additional prayer visit: 

http://tabernacleofpraisemin.org/ or call 781-963-5300.

Please share this blog with your friends.

About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

The Right Moment Part 3

Understanding the right time to take action is the key to walking in destiny, in Kairos time. 

There are many different types of times scholars throughout history refer to that date back to ancient times. How this helps us today is, it teaches us what we can ask for and empowers us to set expectations. Understanding the different types of set time allows us to better utilize and perceive time as it relates to our purpose in life. It also motivate us in our day-to-day time management. 

Waste no day, each one is precious. You were called for this time. Even in times of loss, please understand that despair and grief have an end date. Understanding 'Set Times' allows us look at the long-term destiny of our lives without becoming overwhelmed in our current state. It also enables us to maintain a healthy perspective in the process. To live by "Set Time," we must pray and have a connection with God so we can understand His overall will for our lives rather than His will for only our current season. Here are a few examples of "Set Kinds of Time" that were submitted by a reader in comments on "The Right Moment Part 2."

Set kinds of time
Eukairos (noun) – A convenient or opportune time. A good opportunity.

Hemera (noun) – Set day; the interval between sunrise and sunset. 
Qatsiyr (noun) – Process of harvesting crop, what is harvested or reaped. 
Yaad (verb) – To appoint; (noun) an appointed time to meet. 

Benefits of understanding time and seasons 
1. Helps us to prepare accordingly and with wisdom for the next season of our lives.

 

2. Builds patience and endurance because we know our situation has a beginning and must have an end. We are able to plan and live our lives without becoming engrossed with what seems impossible. (Psalm 30:5)
3. Reduces stress, it destroys our fears and anxiety about problems we face in our lives and allows us to rest. 
We can live with a holistic view and understanding that imperfect moments and difficult seasons are not going to overtake us. (Philippians 4:11)
4. Positions us for success by motivating us to take advantage of the season we're in and use the favor we're experiencing during that time. 

PRAYER: Dear Lord, we thank you for establishing "Set Times" in our lives. Help us to walk according to the purpose you have for us. Bring us into alignment with the seasons you've established for us, help us submit to you and surrender our will and worries over as well. Help us not to be confused or discouraged by those who may misunderstand or even walk away from us as we become who you have created us to be. We thank you again for your blessings upon our lives. We give you all the glory for it. For yours is the kingdom, power and glory in Jesus' name, Amen.

For additional prayer visit 

http://tabernacleofpraisemin.org/ or call 781-963-5300.

Please share this blog with your friends.

About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

The Right Moment Part 2

"There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth..."  – Ecclesiastes 3:1

The one thing that is constant and sometimes appears to work against us is time. Is time on your side? Time is present, and neither for you or against you; its neither your friend nor enemy. It ticks and measures like a recorder of our days, behaviors and schedules. The good news is Kairos, God's timing, intervenes and overrides Chronos. 

Facts about Kairos:
• it's another dimension or perspective of time. 
• it consists of seasons and moments not limited by measured time 
• is what we use emotionally and spiritually, and is governed by divine assignments and our destiny
• it requires us to seek God, search our own hearts, invest our well-being and walk in purpose and faith

In ancient Greek culture Kairos conveyed the idea of time as the right or opportune moment. The most important interactions and occurrences in our lives take place in Kairos time. These moments can not be planned or created, but are a part of our overall destiny. Many of us stumble upon Kairos moments and only realize we stepped into that dimension for a moment or season after it has occurred. These moments, as we recognize and yield to them, we begin to see that Kairos moments impact our "Being" while Chronos time impacts interchangeable aspects of our lives.

Learn more about recognizing Kairos moments and understanding the impact of Kairos time on our lives 
in "The Right Moment Part 3" later this week.

Prayer: Dear Lord, we thank You for who You are, for our existence and the time you've given us. We ask that you would open our eyes and make keen our senses and discernment to know when we're having a Kairos experience. We acknowledge and praise You; and welcome your intervention in our lives. Shake up our daily routine, move in our lives in a way that we know it was only You that could have stepped in. We thank You, we honor You, we give you heartfelt praise and thanks for this season in our lives. We ask these blessings, in Jesus' name, Amen.

For additional prayer visit 

http://tabernacleofpraisemin.org/ or call 781-963-5300.

Please share this blog with your friends.

About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

The Right Moment Part 1

The time to go from fear to faith is now. How is the right moment in time defined so you can operate in your purpose? The Greeks referred to time with two different words: chronos and kairos. Chronos is the chronology of days; it refers to time designations on a clock, calendar and other references associated with tracking increments of time. Kairos deals with specific, God-ordained times, sometimes called "the right time" or "appointed/due season." It's God's dimension, not constrained by past, present and future; a time when conditions are right for the accomplishment of a crucial action; the opportune and decisive moment (Gordon Atkinson).

These ancient references dating back to Greek Culture that are often referenced in the New Testament still influence us today. While chronos refers to time as a means of tracking our existence, Kairos defies this and demands we operate outside of the influences and constructs of measured time. Kairos encourages us to sieze moments, create opportunities, and view life in seasons – and not be limited by time.

Are you ready to operate in seasons, rather than minutes? Are you ready to operate in time as it relates to your destiny? Operating in Kairos builds our faith, because we're conscious of how our actions impact our destiny and those around us. When things appear to go wrong, a person who understands Kairos time realizes delays, unexpected changes and set-backs are opportunities. Have you ever been delayed only to discover something good came out of it?

Why is Kairos important?

1. It is the right moment, it is God's timing set in eternity that impacts our destiny. It goes beyond the clock.

2. You function optimally and are productive without being conscious of or even driven by "the clock." It allows us to work and use our gifts, knowing it will create opportunities we should act upon.

3. We work according to our purpose and the extras the come from it are a bonus. It takes us beyond working and being "on-the-clock."

Check out "The Right Moment Part 2" later this week and read more on how to live in Kairos moments. 

PRAYER: Dear Lord, we thank you for the time you've given us to live and to operate in your time. We ask that you show us the difference in our lives when we operate in Kairos while living in within our time. Help us to be effective in all that we do as we go from fear to faith. Let our efforts not be in vain. We give You all the praise, glory and honor; and ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

For additional prayer visit 

http://tabernacleofpraisemin.org/ or call 781-963-5300.

Please share this blog with your friends.

About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

At the end of your rope?

The best thing about being at the end of your rope is jumping down and landing on your feet.

Some days we get tired of people saying, “well just hang in there, it is going to work out.” There comes a time when hanging in there is no longer an option. It started out as a temporary state because of a larger circumstance and today we find ourselves still “hanging in there” with tired arms from pulling our own weight and those attached to us. I submit to you today, admit you’re at the end of your rope and let go. This is the time to go from fear to faith. Am I saying to walk away or give up? No, I’m saying let’s move forward. Hanging in there, is surviving – barely, not advancement. In order to apprehend the opportunities to make what you call your dream a success, you must take the plunge.

I watched Tangled, Disney’s modified version about the heroine Rapunzel from the Brothers Grimm classic German fairy tale with my kids. In this version, Rapunzel has spent her entire life high up in the tower. Then, local thief Flynn Ryder comes to the tower for refuge and ends up getting Rapunzel out of the tower to live out her dream. Despite circumstances designed to prevent her from seeing her dream come true, Rapunzel never gives up and she lives out her dream and is also returned to her parents. 

Are you in a self-made tower and unable or unsure how to get out of it? Here are four ways to jump down and move forward:

1.  Commit to small actions and build on them. The more you exercise your faith the stronger it will be. In other words, the more you do what you say you're going to do the more consistent you become. When you exercise faith by trying new behaviors and being consistent with them your esteem, courage and strength will increase. Keep going!

2.  Start functioning in your purpose. Dr. Myles Monroe wrote, "The purpose of something determines its nature, design and features" in Understanding the Purpose and Power of Woman. Take the time to know what your purpose is. Think about the nature of your personality, how you’re designed to handle situations.

3.  Use your gifts to change environments. In order for your gift to make room for you and bring you before people of influence, you must use your gift consistently and excel in it. Boldly, not boastfully, share what you’re able to contribute. As people notice your gift, you must be able to articulate what you’re about and plan to accomplish. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

4.  Embrace change and denounce fear. Say good-bye today to your fears of failure, believing lies you’ve believed about yourself and embrace the change from ‘hanging in there’ to walking into ‘a place called there’ as our minister would say. A ‘place called there’ is our ideal place, our destiny. And you do have one. (Isaiah 43:19)

PRAYER: Dear Lord, we thank You for our gifts and the destiny you've set for our lives. We thank You in advance for opportunities and your favor. Let Your will be done in our lives as we walk in faith and function in our purpose. We ask that you begin to open doors that will allow us to change environments naturally and spiritually. Help us to let go of our fears as we embrace and become conduits of change Jesus' name. We give you all of the glory, honor and praise. Amen.

Check out other blog entries: From Problems to Opportunities, Preparing for Opportunity and Opportunities: Acknowledgement. 

For additional prayer visit 

http://tabernacleofpraisemin.org/ or call 781-963-5300.

Please share this blog with your friends.

About the author

Sharon has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. She combines her experience as an art director, understanding of healthy child development and therapeutic interventions to offer interactive art and talk therapy to clients. Sharon is a wife and mother who is passionate about family life and early childhood development and education. Sharon is known for her commitment to God, excellence and family; comedic wit and ability to empathize with others. "Love you to life!"

Words and Parenting

"...when you say, 'I hate you' that sticks with a person and you can't take it away." -Korri Piper

Parenting is the most amazing feat to experience and watch! When I read Korri’s interaction with her daughter, I was so impressed at her Mommy skills in communication and patience that I asked her to be a guest blogger. Being an active engaged listener, especially with children means listening; not with the intent of responding but listening, with the sole purpose of listening to process what is being said. With that said, enjoy this real-parenting moment shared by Korri. 

I approach parenting the same way I approach my work — the point for me is not to do it perfectly. The point is to do it well and with consistency. I find that at bed time my daughter is most reflective, calm and talkative. For ten minutes of our busy lives we are able to slow down focus completely (and most importantly with patience). I look forward to this special talk time everyday. I am constantly amazed by her ability to reflect and process. I also hold this time sacred to our relationship because I know I am setting a strong foundation for communication for the rest of her life. She needs to know that I am always here to talk to her just like she knows the sky to be blue. It must be part of her trust in me as a mother.

Daughter: "Momma. I am so sorry for saying terrible things to you today. It's just that sometimes things happen at school and then I hold them inside. Then, I come home and say bad things to you because I am frustrated and angry and I didn't mean to say them. I was angry and you were listening..."

Korri: "Listen, I am always going to be here no matter how awful the things are that you say. Just know this: there is a line you draw in the sand, and once you step over it, you can't step back. There are words you can't take back once you've said them. That is what I'm trying to teach you."

Daughter: "What do you mean?" 

Korri: "I mean, when you say, 'I hate you' that sticks with a person and you can't take it away. Somewhere, in the back of their head they will always think that and it isn't good. It doesn't put good things into the world."

Daughter: "Momma, I get what you mean. I'm sorry for my words and I know I can't take them back. Other people were mean to me and then I was mean to you and that's not right. Momma, please stop crying."

Korri: "I will, but not right now. Right now I'm crying because you are smart and you get it. And, that's okay."

Daughter: "Momma, I love you."

Korri: "You're my number one and you always will be. Thank you for being kind and reflective."

About the author

Korri Piper has a Bachelor’s Degree in English with a concentration in The Dramatic Arts and holds a Graduate Certificate from the Program for Women in Politics and Public Policy. For more than 11 years she has worked in the field of marketing in varied industries. Korri is fascinated by behavioral sociology. She enjoys staying active, the continued pursuit of knowledge and consideration and righteous social justice work. Korri is parent to an incredibly precocious daughter who reminds her – regularly – that life offers infinite proof of our fallibility, that humor is just a good approach to being and that active listening is the best base for relationships.

Visit Winning Ways to Talk with Young Children to learn more techniques on effectively communicating to children in your life.

Have good parenting tips to share? Parenting questions for Korri? Please comment below, we welcome your comments and questions.